CHARISMATIC

WHAT IS IT? HOW TO BE ONE? 

WHY DOES IT MATTERS?

Hello
Is it me you're looking for? 
- Lionel Richie

Good day. My name is Hizrian, and welcome back to my POT Blog.

This is going to be my third post ever, Yeay!

In this post, as usual, I will put up my Perspective On Things [POT] on something very important.

It is my POT on "Charisma".

I hope that all the readers of this post would understand what I am trying to convey here.

This is only my third time writing in a blog, so i know there will be a lot of things to improve about my writing.

So, without any further ado,

Lets get down to it!!!

Have you ever been in a group of friends? 

If you had, then there's gotta be that someone in your group of friends who, whether you realize it or not, keeping you all together. 

That person basically the one who created the sense of togetherness in the group.

When that person is there, everything seemed kinda fun in that group.

When that person is not there, the group for some reason that you don't know, felt really lacking.

If you have that kind of person in your group, then that person is intentionally or not, the leader of the group. And how he become the leader is because he got what we call "Charisma".

Charisma

In simple words, it is that feeling someone felt when they are naturally attracted to a person and wanting to devote or follow that person. That feeling can come from seeing the appearance or the actions that the person did, and most of the time you don't realize it being there.

A Charismatic person will naturally attract the people around it.

Great Leaders, all of them got great charisma. And with this charisma, came the follower that willing to do almost anything for them. Some even willing to kill themselves for these great leaders.

Alexander The Great, Julius Caesar, Edward The Black Prince, Saladin, Jenderal Soedirman, and even Hitler got great charisma too. It what made them who they are.

Alexander The Great

Julius Caesar

Edward The Black Prince

Saladin Al Ayubbi

Jenderal Soedirman

Adolf Hitler

Without the charisma that they had, they wouldn't be anything great in this world, they wouldn't be put anywhere in the great human history. 

They would be just everybody else, unmemorable.

But these people weren't born with the charisma they have. They earn it through doing many things in life, and at some point it ultimately become a natural for them to do it, making it their charisma.

And with the charisma that they earn, came people who were willing to follow them, willing to be led by them. All of them started as a not so good leaders. But as time went on, with experiences piling up and the growth of their followers, they became Great Leaders. 

Worthy to be known to the future generation as a role models of the human race.

That was all I can write about what Charisma is. 

Not the best description, but i believed you got the point, right???

And next, "How to be one?". 

"How can I become a Charismatic person?"

To become a charismatic person is simple but hard to be done fully. There are some points that you must understand and do again and again until it is planted in your brain. 
Until it became natural for you.

UNTIL IT BECAME YOU

1. Exude Confidence

Confidence is not the same as charismatic, but it will definitely help you to become one. 
The confidence that I refer to here not is not overconfidence or misplaced confidence that you may found in Narcissists or Attention-Seekers.

I mean the confidence people have when they are comfortable with themselves. When they do, other people would be at ease and willing to put their faith in what you do. 
And naturally want to be around you.

Here's how to be confident:

•          Be positive. Confident people are generally positive because they love who they are and what they do. Don't start off a conversation by criticizing another person, place, or political figure. Instead, focus on the things you love, which will engage people and make them want to be around you.
• Speak with confidence. It doesn't mean talking more than everyone else, or louder than everyone else. Say something important and say it with conviction. Speak at a relaxed pace and speak clearly. Vary your tone, rhythm, volume, and pitch to emphasize your most important words and to keep your speech interesting. 
•          To appear confident, you first have to be confident. Truly confident people love who they are, what they do, and what they look like. If you don't feel confident on the inside, work on emphasizing your good qualities, addressing your flaws, and improving your appearance to show that your looks matter to you.

2. Body Language

All the charismatic people in the world have many things in common, such as using the body language correctly to assert their identity and presence, whether intentional or not.

The wrong body language may made you seems shy and indecisive, something that will prevent you from being charismatic. So it's very important to use the right body languages.

Here's how to do it:

• A charismatic person stands tall and walks with steady, determined strides. They walk into a room of strangers with pride, ready to embrace a new opportunity. 
• Improve your posture. Nothing conveys confidence like good posture. Stand or sit up straight, but not rigidly. When you meet someone, give a firm handshake and look the other person in the eye. Display positive body language while you're talking to someone or even when you're just waiting around. Sit facing the person or people you're talking to, uncross your legs and arms, and keep your hands away from your face.
• Think about your own gestures. When you speak, does your body language back you up, or do you look nervous, uncaring, or bored? If you're passionate about something, do your gestures communicate this?
• Practice in a mirror. Watch yourself in the mirror and give a speech or even pretend to hold a conversation. What are your eyes doing? How about your hands? Do you look like the shifty politician or the charismatic one? Could someone know what emotion you're trying to convey even if they couldn't hear you?
• Mimic the body language of those you are conversing with, so that you can get closer to them in a non-verbal fashion. If someone is gesturing a lot, you can join in, while if a person is more reserved, you shouldn't gesture too wildly.
• Look people in the eye when you're talking to them. Don't stare them down, but don't glance around the room or look everywhere but at them. Engage them with your eyes, not just your voice. Don't check your phone, your watch, or look around for other people to talk to because you won't appear engaged.
• Watch how other people gesture. Notice how some speakers' gestures appear fake or out of sync with their message. These people come off looking shifty or uncertain as a result. Other speakers use body language exceptionally well. These are generally the more effective communicators and appear more trustworthy and competent. Look for good and bad examples of the use of body language. Pay attention, and learn.
• And don't forget to smile genuinely when you greet someone. Your smile should say that you're excited about getting to know them.

3. Make Others Feel Special.

People love to be special. If you made other people feel special, they would unconsciously want more of being special. Thus making them want to be around you more, until eventually become your follower, if you want to. This is one of the things that made people charismatic.

Here's how to do it:

• Be anyone's equal. Be respectful of other people, but respect them as equals, and expect that they will accept you as such.
• Show an interest in people's lives. Without being nosy, ask people questions about their lives, their background, or their opinions on certain matters. Make them feel that what they've done matters, and that you value their thoughts.
• Listen actively when others speak. Give someone your full attention when they are speaking to you. Nod in agreement or make brief interjections, such as "I see," or "Okay," to assure the person that you are listening and you're interested in what they have to say. A brief touch on the upper arm can emphasize your agreement or empathy with something someone says, and it can make the person feel connected to you.
• Try to remember other people names. When you still remember the name of someone even after a long time has passed or maybe just after a small conversation, they would feel like they are quite special and important to you. Which is what most people like to be, special.
• Compliment people freely, but genuinely, and accept compliments graciously and without any fuss.
• Remember that being charismatic isn't the same as pleasing people. Charismatic people don't care about what others think. They are just totally charming and charismatic on their own.

4. Be Witty

Who doesn't want fun and a good laugh???

A truly charismatic person should be able to make people laugh without trying too hard. Part of being a person who everyone wants to be around is engaging a group of people in laughter and jokes. You should be able to charm people with your sense of humor.

Here's how to do it:

• Learn to laugh at yourself. If you learn to poke fun at yourself, people will be charmed at how confident you are and will be more comfortable around you. You don't have to be self-deprecating to show that you're aware of your flaws, and to let people join in on laughing at them. Being able to pull this off is a sign of having true charisma.
• Learn to joke around with a variety of people. You should be attuned to the sense of humor of the person or group of people you're talking to. If you're talking to people with a raunchy or slightly offensive sense of humor, don't be afraid to play ball. However, if you're around an older or more sensitive crowd, then tone down your humor and stick to short and inoffensive jokes. When you're with a new person, be conservative at first. You don't want to risk offending or turning a person off with an inappropriate joke.
• Don't try too hard to be funny. You don't have to make a joke every five seconds to be a witty person. Value quality over quantity, and focus on making just a few jokes over the course of a conversation.
• Learn to tease people. If you're comfortable with someone and are already on your way to charming them, you can learn to joke around by teasing that person a little bit. This can bring you closer to the person and can show that you don't take anything too seriously. Just make sure it's a person who is amenable to your jokes.

5. Be Engaging.

 To be truly charismatic, you need to be able to not only impress, charm, and listen to a group of people, but you should be a person who is good at engaging others and always has something interesting to say, so people will naturally gravitate toward you. 

Here's how you do it:

• Be versatile. A truly charismatic person should be able to speak to a variety of people about a variety of topics. You should be well-read, read the newspaper every day, and have a variety of interests, such as foreign languages or modern "art", so you can discuss these topics with anyone.
• You can work on being well-rounded and knowing a little bit about politics, history, science, and literature, so you can tailor the conversation to the individual you're speaking to.
• Think before you speak. Reduce the fluff and filler material in your daily communications. Try to make every word count, and think about how you're going to phrase something before you open your mouth. If you don't have something important to say, remain silent. It may seem surprising, but limiting the amount you talk will make what you have to say more interesting.
• Get in touch with your emotions. Research has shown that people who are generally believed to be charismatic feel emotions strongly, and they are also able to relate to what others are feeling. Don't be afraid to feel anger, pain, sadness, or elation, and don't be afraid to communicate your emotions in an appropriate manner.
• Put it all out there. People tend to hide thoughts and feelings from each other without any bad intentions, but everyone warms up to someone who is totally honest without being awkward or weird. If you can communicate honestly and help people open up, you'll be on your way to being charming and charismatic. Of course, there are a few exceptions; don't say anything that will make people feel uncomfortable or want to back away from you.

I actually found this "How to be Charismatic" on wikihow. You can check the full article here. There are lot more How-to in Wikihow, you can a always check there if there is something you want to do but don't know how.

That is all about "How to be a Charismatic person". You must make them into your habit if you want to truly become a Charismatic Person. You can't half ass it.

And now, for the last part.

"Why does it  mattered?"

This is one of my most favorite questions because there are unlimited ways to answer this type questions. It lets you know of the many possibility in this world, and also why this world is very amazing.

Why does knowing about Charisma and being Charismatic are important?

Well It won't really be important if you are not a human living in a human society. Only humans put that much attention to these kind of things. 

Even if some animal have some natural charisma to lead other members of their own race, their intelligence doesn't really allow them to intentionally become charismatic if they are not.

But us Humans, we lived in a society with a non-visible hierarchy where most of the people on top of the hierarchy have those charisma. They are there because their charismatic way of life naturally gather people who become their followers, naturally raising them up in the hierarchy level.

We are instinctively drawn to the idea of being on top, being superior, being the greatest.
Some people try to ignore it, and they might become a follower.
Some people embrace it, and try to climb the hierarchy.

But the only way to climb the hierarchy is by being put there by the other people in the society. They cannot just do something random, and poof, become superior.

Thats why maximizing on the knowledge of charisma is very important. 
It will make our life very easy.
You can even use it to have beneficial relationship with people around you.

It will make gaining favor with other people more easy.
Which is something very important for college student like me.

As a college student, I directly felt the need to cooperate with a lot of people.
Not just fellow students, but also with the lecturers or even some business owner.
Most of the problem that I faced in college can be solved by a charisma.

So that is why it does matter to me, this charisma thing.
And I believe it does too for the other students like me, or any other human being in this world. Because this is one of the reason we are born, to always improve and being superior.

I NEED CHARISMA, I NEED TO BE CHARISMATIC

I WANT IT

That is all from me, Hizrian

Thank you for reading and see you at another post

Hizrian Out.

TO GET THINGS DONE 

OR

 TO WORRY ABOUT THE TEAM’S FEELING

HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO

This is Hizrian, the author of potofhiz.blogspot.com

Welcome to my second post yeay!

For my second post, I will put up my personal POT, short for Perspective On Things, about what I put in title spot, "To Get Things Done or To Worry About The Team’s Feeling."

And let's get to it

“To be, or not to be, that is the question.”

Quoted from the opening phrase of Act III, Scene I, “nunnery scene” of William Shakespeare’s play 

“Hamlet”

That phrase spoken by Prince Hamlet in the theatrical play of Hamlet was so simple, yet it was one of the most memorable part of the play itself. Even a lot of people that never watched Hamlet know that line.

While the meaning of that phrase is still debatable even after more than 400 years had passed since the first time Hamlet had been played. Some agree it was spoken because Prince Hamlet was hesitating to avenge his father’s murder by his uncle, Claudius.

That phrase is very similar to this post’s topic, To Get Things done (To Be) or To Worry About The Team’s Feeling (Not to Be).

He was told about the murder by a ghost that resembled the late King of Denmark and also his own father, King Hamlet. The Ghost demanded to Hamlet to avenge him, in which Hamlet agreed to, leading to the vanishing of the ghost.

King Hamlet's Ghost

Even though he agreed to kill Claudius, privately he was uncertain of the ghost reliability. And sometime passed and he already set a plot to determine the ghost story by staging a play featuring his father’s murder style of death.

And as he was walking alone in a hall while holding a skull, he mused the “To Be or Not To Be” phrase while contemplating on to kill his Uncle (To get things done) or not because of the uncertainty of his heart and feelings (To worry about the team’s feeling).

Wow, we haven’t gone anywhere with the questions yet.

Hehehe sorry for that.

Now let’s get back.

When we are in a team with the purpose of doing something, going somewhere, reaching some goals, or creating miracles, we might hit a point where there are basically only two choices are left.

Only two path of action are available for us to choose.

To continue just like at the start when we created the team and go on to accomplish what we set as the goal at the cost of leaving a bad aftertaste for the other members of team, sometime even able to prevent another teamwork from happening in the future, or even becoming enemies with each other.

Risking all of that so that we are able to serve the purpose of becoming a team in the first place, or ultimately, to get things done.

Or

 We could just stop what we are doing, halting our progress to achieve our goals, because there are a big risk of ruining the feeling of the team. We could stop temporarily while thinking of another solution, a win-win solution. 

Or if we can’t come up with a solution, we could just stop entirely our progress to reach the goal, making all the efforts and hard works that was already done by the team into something less meaningful or downright worthless. All because the team and its members feelings are more important than some other thing that we are doing.

Because, nothing is more important than humans and humanity right?

Sarcasm aside, these two choices will definitely hit a team that is actually trying to accomplish something, especially a long working team with history. 

Sacrifice the team members to achieve the goals, 

or

Sacrifice the goals to save the team members and the team itself.

Figuring out what to do in these situation, however, is one of the greatest challenge that a team might face together. To achieve the best possible result from these two choices, one needed to considers a lot of things, such as which one is more important, how long has the team been together, what kind of relation exist between each individual members of the team, etc

.

When we consider all of those conditions around the problems, some solutions would naturally form in our own mind. Even though those might not be the best and maybe would make the situation worse, at least we got something just in case we are running out of time to pick a choice.

Hey, it’s better than nothing at all.

These solutions that formed in our mind should be discussed along with the other team members’ solutions and opinions, doing what is called brainstorming. While at it, we must also don’t forget to consider all the possible result of one solution, and all other solutions also.

I’m not going to explain brainstorming in detail, it’s too long hehehe. 

You can check it yourself here.

Anyway, back to the topic.

In a team, the decisions are usually made by the leader or through majority vote done by all the member of the team. If using majority vote, the decisions that came out should be followed by all of its members. Because it can be interpreted as the team decision itself.

If some members disagree to the decisions, we can ask why they did. If their reason is good or maybe managed to point out a big flaw in the decisions, then we should go back to brainstorming part and do it all over again.

If the reason is minor, illogical, or anything like that, defending on whether or not we focused more on the team’s feeling, we may choose to ignore it or take it and delay the final decisions.

If there are no reasons or those members won’t tell the reason, then just ignore them. That only means they don’t want to contribute to the team.

Now, I will give some pointers on how to choose the decisions based on the situations.

The decision should be made after weighing the risks and profits, advantages and disadvantages, or in simple words, “Is it worth it?”

When this question pop up in a team, a highly professional team would definitely choose to get things done over worrying about the other feelings.

If this question pop up in a family, most decision would definitely goes to worrying about the family members’ feelings first.

If the negative effects on the team members are not meaningful, or small enough that it won’t really be mattered in the future, then choosing to get things done is a good choice.

If the negative effects are big on the team’s feeling and it is definitely more important than the goals, then choose the decision that is based on keeping the team.

If the negative effects are big on the team feeling, but the goals are also very important, then it all comes down to which one is more important even by a small margin.

You cannot make a rash decision on this. Only after considering all the circumstances and possible result would you be able to come up with a decision.

ONLY YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

Decide carefully, even a small thing like the flap of a butterfly wing can change the world.

THEN WHAT ABOUT YOUR DECISION???

That is all from me, Hizrian.

Thank you for being here and see you at another posts.

Hizrian Out.